After the death of Sarah the Chumash changes focus from Abraham to his son Isaac. Though he would live on for many more years and have many more sons and daughters it is obvious that without Sarah in his life Abraham was not complete. Sarah was his soul mate and without her a part of him was lost.
How many of us have heard the phrase “behind every man is a good woman?”
I take acception to this comment for if I am to be the man or the leader G-D has empowered me to be I need my wife beside me. Not behind me or in front of me but walking with me step by step.
It is only when we are equally yokes and working together that we can be faithful to leave a legacy of the eternal covenant of Abraham to our children.
Genesis 24 1-4 “By now Avraham was old, advanced in years; and AD-NAI had blessed Avraham in everything. Avraham said to the servant who had served him the longest, who was in charge of all he owned, “Put your hand under my thigh; because I want you to swear by AD-NAI, G-d of heaven and G-d of the earth, that you will not choose a wife for my son from among the women of the Kena’ani, among whom I am living; but that you will go to my homeland, to my kinsmen, to choose a wife for my son Yitz’chak.”
Why does Abraham believe that a spouse would be better off found amongst his own family rather than in Canaan?
Does not the Chumash read that Abraham came from a family of idolaters?
Genesis 24:5-9 “The servant replied, “Suppose the woman isn’t willing to follow me to this land. Must I then bring your son back to the land from which you came?” Avraham said to him, “See to it that you don’t bring my son back there. AD-NAI, the G-d of heaven – who took me away from my father’s house and away from the land I was born in, who spoke to me and swore to me, ‘I will give this land to your descendants’- he will send his angel ahead of you; and you are to bring a wife for my son from there. But if the woman is unwilling to follow you, then you are released from your obligation under my oath. Just don’t bring my son back there.” The servant put his hand under the thigh of Avraham his master and swore to him concerning the matter.”
Abraham sends his beloved servant Eliezer to find a wife for his son Isaac. What an incredibly awesome task that speaks volumes of the trust that Abraham had in his servant. Abraham had blessed Isaac with everything but this was all for nothing if the covenant ended with him. Even more significant was that without the continuation of the Abrahamic Covenant in Isaac the Messiah would not come. Finding a bride for him meant finding someone with the same spirit who would truly become one flesh with Isaac, anything less was unacceptable for it would be their son that would continue the eternal covenant. Was this not what Eliezer was looking for in versus 12-14 were it reads…..?
Genesis 24:12-14 “He said, “AD-NAI, G-d of my master Avraham, please let me succeed today; and show your grace to my master Avraham. Here I am, standing by the spring, as the daughters of the townsfolk come out to draw water. I will say to one of the girls, ‘Please lower your jug, so that I can drink.’ If she answers, ‘Yes, drink; and I will water your camels as well,’ then let her be the one you intend for your servant Yitz’chak. This is how I will know that you have shown grace to my master.”
I believe this is the reason that Abraham sent his servant amongst his own family but specifically amongst Sarah’s family to find a bride for Isaac. It was of utmost importance that the wife of Isaac be of the same spirit of Sarah just as Isaac is of the same spirit of Abraham. He knew that Isaac and his bride must be equally yoked.
Let’s continue with Eliezer’s journey to find a bride for Isaac. Is their any mistaken that Hashem is the one behind this marriage? When Eliezer find in Rebekkah the spirit of Sarah he knows without a doubt that this is G-D’S doing.
Genesis 24:54-61 “He and his men then ate and drank and stayed the night. In the morning they got up; and he said, “Send me off to my master.” Her brother and mother said, “Let the girl stay with us a few days, at least ten. After that, she will go.” He answered them, “Don’t delay me, since AD-NAI has made my trip successful, but let me go back to my master.” They said, “We will call the girl and see what she says.” They called Rivkah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” and she replied, “I will.” So they sent their sister Rivkah away, with her nurse, Avraham’s servant and his men. They blessed Rivkah with these words: “Our sister, may you be the mother of millions, and may your descendants possess the cities of those who hate them.” Then Rivkah and her maids mounted the camels and followed the man. So the servant took Rivkah and went on his way.”This passage speaks a great deal of Rebbekah’s faith. She is a woman who has committed herself to doing what G-D wants. Though going with Eliezer would mean leaving behind her family and all sense of familiarity to marry a man she has never met Rebekkah is ready to leave right away. Sarah too was willing to give up everything to support and follow her husband as they enter into uncertainty.
In the marriage of Isaac and Rebekkah we find a beautiful word picture of what happens when we submit ourselves to the care of a G-D who has nothing but good in store for his children.
We also find a perfect example of a godly role of ones parents in helping to choose a bride.
Statistically marriages which have been blessed by the parents have a much higher success rate than those who have not. This I believe is because parents who have been faithful to the covenant of G-d are in an advantage to give council and advice to young people in regards to marriage that they could never find on their own.
When our children are born they are completely under our nurture and care.
They depend on us for the very sustenance of life.
We decide the foods they will eat, the cloths they ear, the time they go to bed, the movies they will watch, and the music they listen too.
As they grow older we slowly give them more responsibility about some of these things. But yet we are still intimately involved with the most important decisions in their life.
Soon they will be getting a drivers license, choosing a career, and going to college. All of these decisions are parents are intimately involved with.
So why is it that when it comes to finding a soul mate it is a personal decision that does not involve are parents?
Why is it that we have lost the need for our parent’s approval?
Why is it no longer important for the young man to seek the fathers’ approval before beginning a courtship?
How arrogant for me to believe that I can come to my parents with help for my first car, for college tuition, or for bail money and not value the importance of their council on the most important decision of my life.
I have born witness to too many bad marriages that could have been avoided if they would have sought their parent’s advice and consent.
To often we are influenced by the Goosebumps and butterfly’s that accompany today’s dating scene
Parents let me say to you that If we are faithful to teach our children the importance that their soul mate be of like heart and spirit, equally yoked, than you and your children together guided by the divine hand of G-D will find someone who exceeds all expectations. Someone from the spirit of Sarah and Rebekkah. This is why we bless our children every Erev Shabbat with the words “may G-D may you like Sarah, Rebekkah, Rachael, and Leah.
of love. Are we not told to “love our neighbor as we love ourselves”? As a couple bind themselves to G-D’S covenant they will find that their love will grow leaps.
Let me change gears briefly and talk about today’s dating scene.
From the beginning of time you were created to become one with only one other person. Your body, your heart, and your soul has been set aside as a beautiful feast for this one person.
The dating scene is like a bee buzzing from one flower to another. We are taught by this pattern to bail on a relationship when it gets boring or difficult.
The results of dating are that for the first time in our nations history over 50% of children in our public schools go home to a step parent. Divorce has not only become an acceptable outcome of marriage but even an expected one.
How do we provide an alternative to dating and help our children find their soul mate?
The first step is to teach our young the value of traditional courtships. In the courtship model physical and emotional entanglements are postponed until they meet the probable husband or wife. In this model the parents are very supportive in helping choose the person they desire to court.
I know that for most teenagers this seems very restrictive and unnecessary but we must understand the benefits of such self control.
The second step is to teach our young men the value of a wife. Every Erev Shabbat we gather our wives near to us and bless them with the words from Proverbs 31.
Proverbs 31:10-12 “Who can find a capable wife? Her value is far beyond that of pearls. Her husband trusts her from his heart, and she will prove a great asset to him. She works to bring him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
Eliezer immediately clothes Rebekkah with gifts of precious jewels as soon as it becomes obvious that she is the one as a token of her incredible value. He than give gifts to her brother and mother recognizing that her lose would be of inestimable value. Young men, of what value have we given them when we treat them as a toy that we throw away when we get bored?
When our soul mate comes into our lives we are to treat them as the most precious precious gift.
Ephesians 5:52-28 “As for husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic Community, indeed, gave himself up on its behalf, in order to set it apart for God, making it clean through immersion in the mikveh, so to speak, in order to present the Messianic Community to himself as a bride to be proud of, without a spot, wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without defect. This is how husbands ought to love their wives – like their own bodies; for the man who loves his wife is loving himself.”
